Spoonie Math: The Hidden Costs Behind Every Decision You Make | The Health Sessions
Before going to a party, you usually wonder about which outfit you’ll wear or what kind of present you should bring. Unless you’re chronically ill; then you’re forced to do thespoonie math, the constant. . .
Before going to a party, you usually wonder about which outfit you’ll wear or what kind of present you should bring. Unless you’re chronically ill; then you’re forced to do thespoonie math, the constant calculation of how much energy every activity costs. In your mind, you run a full cost-benefit analysis. Do I have to drive there and back, or can someone take me? Will there be any (comfortable) seating available and do they have accessible bathrooms? How busy, noisy and hot will the place be? How much time will I likely have to rest beforehand and afterwards, and is that a realistic option looking at my schedule? And when should I be heading home to prevent feeling (too) sick the next day?TheSpoon Theoryby Christine Miserando is often used to explain how every activity, no matter how small, requires some physical and/or mental effort, represented by a number of spoons. When you’re living with chronic illness, you wake up with less ‘spoons’ available to you than to healthy people. With chronic pain, inflammation or a dysregulated nervous system zapping away your limited energy, something as simple as taking a shower can already take up half of your spoons for the day. And then you still have to get dressed, feed yourself and somehow make it through…. That’s exactly why your brain’s always doing spoonie math, computinghow much energy you will still have leftif you have coffee with your friend, walk a different route to the shops or clean you kitchen counter. So many things you used to do without thinking twice can become a serious energy leak when you’re living with chronic illness. For example, when shopping for clothes, walking around to and in stores seems to be the main physical activity, but to me, changing into clothes, standing in line to pay at check-out and the mental overstimulation of big stores are all surprisingly draining. Ironically, doing spoonie math actually costs energy too. Your mental resources are limited, and like a muscle that grows tired after continuous usage, your brain capacity to manage or change your thoughts, emotions and behavior can also get depleted. Research confirms that people with chronic multi-symptom illnesses often suffer fromself-regulatory fatigue, especially when they’re mentally juggling with comorbidity, psychological stress and unpredictable symptoms. More so, constantly making small decisions and dealing withspoonie dilemmas, like‘do I cancel my plans or push through the pain?‘, wear you down. The mental labour of managing chronic illness is real, but easy to overlook. Your ‘energy calculator’ runs in the background all day long, counting and adding up the hidden costs behind every decision you make. If you’re tired of always having to do the spoonie math, you’re not being too sensitive or lacking discipline. Your brain is just taxed and needs to recharge. Unfortunately, there’s no escaping the spoonie math; you have to keep checking in with your body to manage your symptoms and energy levels well. But sometimes, simply acknowledging the invisible work you do every day can give you some validation. Be kind to yourself when you desperately wish you could take a break from running the numbers; you’re only human. You could try to make this cognitive process a little less exhausting, by reducing the amount of decisions you have to take every day. Depending on your situation, you can create habits and systems that allow your brain to go on auto-pilot, like having aflexible weekly menuor automating bills and refills. It also helps to set simple ‘rules’ for yourself about recurring dilemmas, like how you’ll handleflare-upsand when you need totake a rest. If you do have tough decisions to make, try to make your mind upearlier in the day, when you still have more mental capacity than later in the day. The better you get to understand how your chronic illness impacts. your life, the easier it will be to pace your energy, preventcrashesand avoid cognitive overload. It’s knowing your body well enough to recognize thewarning signsbefore you hit the danger zone. It’s finding the balance between packing the (medical) essentials you need for a day out and not making your bag so heavy you can’t carry it. Once you’re familiar with all the nuances of navigating pain, fatigue and brain fog, the spoonie math will become less taxing on your brain. But no matter how good you get at calculating the hidden costs of every move you make, you are not a number. Real life is much more unpredictable than even the best math can predict. So most importantly, give yourself enough room to mentally recharge. Doing spoonie math takes energy, so make time forrealrest. Lying on the couch scrolling your phone or watching HBO still requires brain power. Instead, try to addmindful micro-breaksto your day, when you close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, picture a calming scenario and let go of all your problems for a moment. And on days when you feel overwhelmed by all the spoonie math, remember the wise words of Aristotle:“The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. ”One miscalculation, one day where the spoon count didn’t add up, does not undo the equation of your life. Your days cannot never be fully measured in numbers. For more spoonie math advice, learn‘Why Pacing Beats Push-and-Crash Cycles (And How to Manage Your Energy Instead)’and‘How Do You Actually Listen to Your Body?’to help you decidewhen to push through and when to stop and rest. Sign up for tried-and-tested tips forliving a good life with chronic illnessdelivered straight to your inbox. No spam, ever. Get free weekly advice in your inbox