Ikigai and the Science of Personality Change
Greetings from Okinawa, Japan. I’m currently teaching a study-abroad course on the science ofhappiness. Every year, I take a group of students to a place in the world where the culture supports happy,. . .
Greetings from Okinawa, Japan. I’m currently teaching a study-abroad course on the science ofhappiness. Every year, I take a group of students to a place in the world where the culture supports happy, healthy, long lives. This week, we learned about ikigai. Loosely translated, ikigai means "a reason to get up in the morning. " It’s the parts of your life that give you a sense of meaning and purpose. In recent years, the concept has become incredibly popular in the West. Entire books, workshops, andcoachingprograms promise to help people discover their ikigai and unlock a more fulfilling life. And to be fair, they're onto something. Research consistently shows that people with a strong sense of purpose tend to experience greater well-being,resilience, and life satisfaction. But knowing what matters most to you is only half of the formula for a fulfilling life. You also have to be able to execute on that insight. When Clarity Isn't the ProblemMy client, Sarah, had a deeply held belief that she was meant to contribute something creative to the world. Specifically, she wanted to write a novel. In fact, she’d wanted to write a book since she was a kid. It’s not that Sarah lacked her ikigai. She knew exactly what was important to her. But she wasn’t writing. She came to work with me after years of what she described as “spinning her wheels. ” Every week, she found reasons to put off working on her book: a busy work week, too many social plans, and feeling tired. When she finally sat down to write, she became consumed by thoughts that her work wasn't good enough. So she’d close her laptop and promise herself she'd try again tomorrow. Values Tell You Where to Go; Your Traits Determine How Easily You Get ThereOne of the first things I do when helping people make meaningful changes is clarify their values—kind of like thetherapyversion of finding your ikigai. Your values are the qualities you want to bring to various areas of your life. I ask my clients questions like:What kind of friend do I want to be?What makes work meaningful?How do I want to show up as a parent or a partner?Values act like a compass. They point us in the direction we want to travel. But a compass isn't the same thing as transportation to get there. This is where yourpersonalitycomes in. Personality traits describe our typical patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving. Some traits make it easier to pursue certaingoals, while others can create friction. For example, like Sarah, someone who valuescreativitymay need to become moreconscientiousto consistently show up for their craft. Someone who strives for close relationships may need to become more trusting or willing to open up. Someone who valuesleadershipand mentoring at work may benefit from developing theirassertiveness. What Is Personality?Take our Agreeableness TestFind a therapist near meThe Real Purpose of Personality ChangeImportantly, there are no universally ideal personality traits. Instead, when setting personal development goals, we want to consider what traits would make the life you want easier to grasp. When we think ofpersonality changelike that, we shift the focus away from fixing flaws and toward creating alignment with our ikigai. I love the concept of ikigai because it encourages people to think deeply about what makes life meaningful. Once you know what matters, though, the next challenge is becoming the kind of person who can consistently move toward it. ReferencesIf you know what matters to you but struggle to follow through, thePersonality Action Plancan help. It identifies the personality patterns creating friction and helps you develop personalized roadmap for becoming the kind of person who can consistently pursue what matters most.